048 Quibbles is BACK with news from EUROPE!

(Nota Bene: If you have been directed to this blog from my Facebook, the post you're looking for is the next one. Thanks.)

BONJOOUR AND ALOOHA,

So my sister decided to get sick a week or so ago and now I'm feeling a bit under the weather. Last week, I think I actually had a bit of a small fever, but idiot that I am, I ignored it and now it's worse. But you know what? I haven't been sick for a year (which is kind of a record because I am an absolute imbecile when it comes to self-preservation), so here's a message to my impending illness:

(Have I mentioned? I recently watched The Emperor's New Groove for the first time and I am an absolute fan. What an underrated movie. YZMA AND KRONK 4 LYFE.)

(On a second thought, of course I haven't mentioned it, I've been NEGLECTING and PROCRASTINATING and LEAVING THIS BLOG TO DIE. I'm a DESPICABLE PERSON AND I DESERVE WHATEVER FLU'S HITTING ME RIGHT NOW.)

But I digress.

Last month, from December 23rd to January 3rd, I was in France and Italy (and surrounding areas). It was a great trip, but really, I wish people had warned me about a whole lot of things. Like selfie sticks.

I promised myself I would write this on the plane back from France, but I fell asleep instead. And then homework got into the way, and everything else, and then my chemistry course started, and then

So here's a comprehensive guide of what to do to prepare for a trip to Europe.

1) EVERYTHING IS CARBONATED. And when I say everything, I mean everything, even including the apple juice!!) If you see the word "frizzante", step away. "Agua minerale" or "agua naturale" is your best bet, but you never know until you drink it. Also, the tap water in Italy is really gross so you're kind of forced to buy bottled water, and if you buy the wrong kind... prepare for a long week of bubbles.

2) Your best bet for a good exchange rate from dollars to Euros will be at your good old bank in good old America. Do not go to exchange stations in Europe, they will charge an insane commission fee (without telling you beforehand, of course), and rob you of everything you own. Your tour guide may offer to exchange money, but still not a great rate. Honestly, prepare all the Euros beforehand. You can thank me later.

3) Orange juice is expensive, like five dollars for a small glass expensive. Bring your own juice.

4) People are going to be selling souvenirs on the street. The price they first give will be about 10 times the price they should be selling at. Don't be afraid to bargain.

5) The selfie stick is actually not too bad an idea; there are just too many people crowded at every tourist destination, and good on you if you're willing to trade your dignity for an Instagram-worthy picture.

6) The pigeons at St. Mark's Square will poop. So will the ones at the Louvre.

7) PICKPOCKETING IS A HUGE THING THERE. If you're wearing a messenger bag, zip your jacket over it and keep the zipper end close to the front. Don't keep anything in the outer pockets, except maybe tissues and pens. PHONES MUST BE CLOSELY GUARDED, AS WELL AS PASSPORTS, WALLETS, ETC. Children are threats, they will sink as low as to ask you for the time and steal your watch. Do not flash cash anywhere. Wear your backpack on your chest, not on your back. CONSTANT VIGILANCE!

8) If you have three people in your group, one person is going to be sleeping on a sofa bed for the entire trip. That person was me in our trip.

9) If you're staying in Switzerland, stay at Swissever Hotel. The lobby smells weird, but the rooms are totally worth it.

10) There's also a Holiday Inn somewhere in Italy that's really nice. But I forget where it is, so I'm rather useless. I knew I should have written this earlier.

11) BUY AS MANY KINDER EGGS WHILE YOU CAN and also Haribo Smurf gummies are a huge thing there apparently. Except they're called Schtroumphes or Schlumpfes, depending on where you are.




------------------------
That's it for now, I'm going to remember some things and add them later if I need to. I think I've gone over the most important parts, though. Just know that while Europe is annoying, it's endearingly annoying and all it's little quirks are completely worth it in the end. It's a fascinating place with absolutely gorgeous architecture and such an interesting history, and I really enjoyed my stay there. If there's anything I should add to this list, please let me know!

- Quibbles.