030 If you were fated to be in a bad accident that would leave you either blind, deaf, or with amnesia that wiped away all your memories, which loss would be the worst? the easiest?

WHOAAAA FUN COLORS!!!!!!!

The loss that would be the most difficult to cope, for me, with would to be rendered blind. Sight is the most important sense to me of the 5, because without it I would feel helpless. There are many people who have gone blind, or have been blind from birth, and they live perfectly content lives with their situation, but I feel like it would be the worst scenario for me to cope with, of the three provided. I'd have to find a whole new system of ways to live my life, and I'd need a lot more help, which, if you've read one of my other current posts, I don't do well with. Coupled also with the fact that I would have to accept that I'm never going to see my family, friends, or anyone ever again. In order to read, which I love to do, and often, would become reading braille, or listening to audiobooks (yaaay, technology!). My life would be changed so dramatically, and being a child afraid of the dark, this frightens me beyond compare.

Amnesia would seem like a mediocre aftermath of a bad accident, but it depends on the duration of said amnesia. In books, the ones who suffer from amnesia always recover fully, and I don't know if I've ever heard that amnesia persists forever, but I'm sure it's possible. Full recovery granted (over how long, I'm not sure), I would consider this the least punishing choice. However, whilst under amnesia's influence, you kind of lose that part of your life. You don't remember who your family and friends are, and how you used to live your life. I can imagine it's very stressful and confusing. 

Being deaf would be the situation I would want, of all the choices. I don't know if it's my love for Switched at Birth, or my my logic, but it seems the most attractive to me. I wouldn't be as debilitated as if I were to go blind, and it wouldn't be as distressing as suffering from amnesia. I think Switched at Birth is an awesome TV show because it doesn't portray deaf people as disabled, just their different way of living, and I think this applies to blind people as well, and any other people that don't like to consider themselves "disabled." 

To go off on a tangent here, I'm reading a book titled, "Left Neglected", by Lisa Genova and I've really been enjoying it a lot more than I previously thought I would. It's realistic (ADULT) fiction (not adult as in rated M content, for all you dirty minded people like myself. It's just aimed towards adults), and I'm usually one to steer right clear of that section of the library, but this is a book I felt obligated to read as my friend's mom lent it to me. Yes, this is what I do when I hang out with my friends. Their moms give me books to read. Anyyyways, I didn't think to much of this book, but I was always fascinated with the science of Neglect. I really love brain science, and being the supernerd that I am, I'm gon' share it with y'all. Neglect usually is the result of a brain injury, which leaves the brain utterly puzzled with the concept of left or right. In the woman in this book's case, she has Left Neglect. Her brain has no concept of "left," even the left side of her body, which the brain chooses to ignore. Not after much concentration and signaling (wearing a bright red sock), can she even spot her left foot. She knows she should have a left side, but she "has no idea where it is." 

Pictures drawn by someone
with Left Neglect.

To put it this way, in case you weren't aware, everyone has a blind spot. It's pretty small, the size of a small x in your field of vision. If you go on YouTube (link below), you can figure out how to find your blind spot. The blind spot is where your optical nerve thing (I've forgotten it's actual name) connect through the back of your eye (cornea or something) to travel to the brain. When light hits this spot there aren't an cones or receptors, you know what I mean. In order to make up for this teeny tiny loss, the brain just fills in what isn't there, and you never even notice it. Having Neglect is like having a very very massive blind spot, a left or right blind spot if you will. The brain doesn't acknowledge that anything's missing, and you carry on as normal until you realize you can't walk, or put on your own clothes because, well, you need both sides to do that. This substitution, if you will, is demonstrated when Neglect patients are asked to draw a clock, or a cat, and when they only draw either the left or right half, they say that the whole clock or the whole cat is there. The brain knows there should be a whole picture, but can't fathom how to draw it because in their mind, it's complete, there's nothing more to do. 

It seems very hard to fathom that this woman's brain is so confused that it doesn't even acknowledge anything on the left side of her. I mean, "how daft can she get, right?" One section from the book I mentioned earlier explains this really well, and helped me picture what it's like to have Neglect. The woman's (woman being Sarah) husband is getting frustrated that she can't even turn her head left to look at where he's standing. "Just turn your head, it's not hard." He says something along those lines. She tells him it is really very hard, and puts it like this. I'll type up an excerpt:

"'I don't understand why you can't just turn your head.'

'I did.'

'To the left.'

'There is no left.'

I hear him sigh in frustration.

'Honey, tell me everything you see in here,' I say

'You, the bed, the window, the chair, the table, the flowers, the cars, the pictures of me and the kids, the bathroom, the door, the television.'

'Is that everything?'

'Pretty much.'

"Okay, now what if I told you that everything you see is only half of everything that's really here? What if I told you to turn your head and look at the other half? Where would you look?'

..."

"'I don't know,' he says.

'Exactly.'

~Lisa Genova, Left Neglected

I think this example is a really good way of standing in someone else's shoes, and seeing the world how they see it themselves. It's a good way to empathize. When Sarah is faced with her Left Neglect, she has to reorient the way she lives her life. Before the accident she was busy at work all the time, hiring a pretty much 24/7 babysitter, and rushing home in the evenings only to kiss her kids goodnight after dropping them off at 7:15 or so to a before-school program. With her condition after the accident she has to slow down, and she realizes that life isn't all about work. She helps her kids with homework, especially her son, who has just been diagnosed with ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder). Left Neglect has also crippled her ability to read, and now she must use a red bookmark so she can locate the left side of the page, and then another bookmark to hold under the line as she's reading it, the same way her son reads. 

I think this book, and facing barriers such as this (going blind, or deaf), teach us a lot about what's important, and help us see (sorry, kind of mean to blind people) the world in a different, better light. Sarah focuses more on her family and marriage without having to worry about work all the time, and I'll bet by the time I finish this book. Sarah will have recovered, but she won't have regretted having her Left Neglect. These kinds of experiences change people, often for the better. It brings people closer and like I said, at first you have to take it easy and focus on the important things. Most deaf or blind, or people who struggle with other physicalities are often conflicted about whether they would choose to be, for example, hearing or seeing. Most wouldn't because it makes them who they are, and is such a big part of their identity. Often experiences such as this teach us so much about compassion, and dealing with whatever life throws at you and taking it in stride, and I think we could all use to learn a little bit from people such as them. 

Love always, 
- Nargles 8/20/14

Left Neglected, by Lisa Genova

Video on the science behind blind spots and how to find yours!